Inside sources tell BayBuzz that after months of searching for chemical and technological “fixes” for its stinking sewage treatment plant, the Hastings Council has come up with a solution.

HDC’s stink abatement coordinator Brett Fraser has discovered a mechanical odour eradicator, called the Entabulator, which, at a cost of $750,000 per unit (not yet clear how many units will be required) will totally remove smells from the treatment process.

As Brett exults: “This is a much better solution than putting lid on the BTF treatment tank because it actually eliminates the odour, as opposed to the lid, which, after all, just puts a lid on it. Not only that, but the units can generate inexpensive electricity as well, helping to advance Council’s sustainability goals.”

Brett explains how the Entabulator works in the following video …

The Entabulator (3MB)

The Regional Council has dispatched a technical team to North Korea, where the units are manufactured, for peer review of the solution. Said HBRC chief scientist, Woodju Believethis, “This sounds almost too good to be true, but I’ve heard that these units can also remove harmful PM10 particles from the air. We might not need to get rid of those woodburners after all.”

Added Regional Council CEO Andrew Newman: “This is a stunning example of the kind of investment our new Holding Company will be making. If these units perform as expected, we’ll hold the exclusive New Zealand licence to import, and we’ll charge other councils through the nose, so to speak, for these suckers.”

Tom Belford

P.S. Have you checked out the latest BayBuzz Digest articles from our regular columnists … Brendan Webb, Tim Gilbertson, Des Ratima, Anna Lorck and Elizabeth Sisson? Here they are.

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8 Comments

  1. Wonderfull Tom. A gem for the favourites file. Actually the Intabulator 3MB is a modification of Hitlers VI pulse jet V1 flying bomb.

  2. They should send Brett over to the Gulf of Mexico – he could no doubt find a way to turn their unique oil/seawater mix into sustainable energy! (Miracles are not far away – it won't be long before mere mortals will be able to walk on their water.)

    And as for the Holding Company… sorry, but the name always makes me think of Big Brother and Janis Joplin…

  3. I played out the Entabulator file and saw an immediate link to the professor from "Back to the Future". Even the words were the same – with the word flux used several times.

    The engine is being presented by an American – but the council has gone to North Korea. Is the Entabulator no more than an obsolete fighter jet engine salvaged from some Americam fighter shot down during the Korean war?

    I am sure the technology is available from NZ or Australia for a simple odour removal problem.

    Kenneth

  4. This morning's dom post talks, yet again, about fixing the odour from the East Clive BTF system. This would be paid for by increasing levies from $88.75 to $101.44 then to $109.46 for evermore, plus inflation no dought. Where and when is it all going to end? Has there anybody "fallen on there sword" because of this absolute "Balls up". Hastings citizen were sold this system as the silver bullet that was going to fix something that wasn't even broken. emotion ran high from people who were being fashionable about "kupara and the sea"- some I know, realise the error of their thinking. Hawkes Bay has upgraded and upgraded while some Councils are still putting raw sewerage into the ocean. Why do Hastings ratepayers have to pay for being trailblazers?

  5. It is not a 'bad odour.' It is a toxic gas that results in migraines, upper respiratory tract irritation, 'spontaneous nose bleeds,' conjunctivitis ++ … let us call it for what it is.

    Let our Regional Council accept responsibility for the respiratory/cardiac/carcinogenic effects resulting from their permitting of off site drift of agrochemical and biological toxins … serenade … doesn't it just warm your heart?

    At this point in time, because 'organics' is not returning increments in pip fruit production, they are able to 'pull' this monsrtrosity back … but will they?

    Does Alan Dick have the where with all??

  6. Why doesn’t the council look at Napier’s Ozone Technologies for Christ’s sake, the company’s record is second to none.
    It is supplying info and equipment all around the world but for some reason the mis-guided councils in Hawke’s Bay won’t look at what they have to offer.
    Poor Hawke’s Bay.
    One day someone will realise councils may have almost missed the boat.. but by then the damage will have been done.
    Stinky.. stinky Clive. Sorry ’bout that.

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