The OECD reports that Kiwis are the third-fattest people in the developed world (details here). Responding aggressively, the hard-charging American purveyor of Mexican food, Taco Bell, today announced plans for a nation-wide NZ campaign, to be launched by an outlet in Havelock North.

According to OECD’s Health Care Data 2009, latest statistics show that 26% of New Zealanders are obese, outweighed only by #1 United States at 34% and #2 Mexico at 30%.

Said Pepe Martinez, director of marketing for Taco Bell NZ: “We should be proud that we are within striking distance of first position. If Kiwis suck it in, we can achieve #1 by the time of the Rugby World Cup in 2011. Nothing beats Mexican food when it comes to adding fat. We’re planning a nation-wide expansion, starting with Havelock North, where there’s a great location on Te Mata Road.”

He continued: “With the NZ Government choking the anti-obesity education program, and re-opening the school doors to fast-food, we thought … Hey, this is better than sliced bread, the NZ fat market will be bigger than ever … we’ll get all the business we can swallow. Besides, we can’t target #2 Mexico … that would be like sending coal to Newcastle.”

Asked why Taco Bell NZ decided to feast on Havelock North, Mr Martinez noted the recent announcement that McDonald’s is coming to the village. “We take that as a gauntlet thrown in our face. But we never shrink from the challenge of competing butt-to butt with those Macmeisters. I’ll stack up the fat content of our tacos any day against their skinny-ass little burgers.”

Martinez said Taco Bell was already planning its first Havelock North promotion. “We’ll kick-off with a Taco versus Mac Smackdown right at the village fountain. Prizes for the kids.”

BayBuzz will cover the competition with a live webcast. Stay tuned.

Tom Belford

P.S. Seriously, the National Government has cut anti-obesity funding and given schools the green light on fast-food. Duh!

P.P.S. If you haven’t yet taken our survey regarding McDonald’s coming to Havelock North, please do so here.

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1 Comment

  1. Brilliant. McDonalds could respond by building two golden arches across the roads as you leave the bridge from Hastings. Competition's great. Other complimentary businesses could be established, like, being Havelock, liposuction clinics, and stomach stapling surgery's. This is a recession beater. Someone should tell John Key.

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