Murray Douglas has recently discovered cows in the Karamu Stream. But then again, he only recently became a candidate.

And so he’ll introduce a motion at Wednesday’s Regional Council meeting to “cease all council initiated action for stock to be grazed in council owned riparian strips …”

That much is fact.

But here’s my forecast of the discussion that will likely occur at the meeting.

Murray Douglas: “I’m outraged. Cows pooing in the stream right alongside my property. Fracking is OK; oil & gas development is our future. And heaps more nutrient run-off into the Tuki catchment from dam-triggered farming intensification is OK too. But we need to draw the line somewhere. And I need to be FOR something that satisfies those damn greenies. How did this happen?”

Acting CEO Liz Lambert: “Don’t ask me, Andrew Newman did it.”

Kevin Rose: “I’m stunned. In my 15 years on this Council I’ve never heard of such a thing. But I’m sure there must be a good reason. And I’d just like to point out that Murray’s vigilance fully justifies the action we took in giving him a council seat in our waning days.”

Alan Dick: “I don’t know much about cows, but I’m all for passing resolutions that indicate we’re doing stuff. So I propose this amendment: Further, that HBRC will do all in its power to increase summer rainfall.”

Kevin Rose: “My amendment praising sunny days takes precedence.”

Christine Scott: “Point of order, Mr Chairman. The resolution contains several grammatical errors.”

Chairman Fenton Wilson: “Quiet Councillor Scott. One more outburst and I’ll have you removed from the meeting!”

“All those in favour …? Carried.”

Unfortunately, you won’t be able to tune in online to see what really happens … Murray got rid of webcasting mere committee meetings.

You’ll have to settle for HBRC’s press release.

Tom Belford

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