ACT leader David Seymour has announced that ACT will be seeking candidates to run under its party banner in this year’s local body elections.
Prospective candidates will be vetted for ideological fit. Here are the qualifications required to satisfy acceptable alignment with ACT party values and policies:
- No more cuddling up to Māori rights and aspirations.
- Prohibit any official references to ‘co-governance’.
- No complaining about school lunches your dog wouldn’t eat.
- Prohibit local councils considering climate change as a factor in their planning.
- Endorse resumption of offshore oil and gas exploration.
- Endorse smoking.
- Champion privatisation at every opportunity.
Other than adherence to the above principles and policies, local ACT councillors will be free to wreak havoc in whatever additional ways they wish.
But be forewarned … there’s a stampede underway in Hawke’s Bay. Seats are going fast across the region’s five councils and our region only has about five dozen council seats. Best to communicate your interest in standing as an ACT local body candidate ASAP. ACT is inviting potential candidates to visit actlocal.nz to learn more and register their interest.
While definitely “tongue in cheek” article it’s sad to note that the requirements seem to be about spot on for any ACT candidate – could be simplified to say that any candidate must worship at the altar of Trump and his prophet Seymour!
8. Don’t believe the police should be able to question rich pakeha suspects.
9. Automatic name suppression for any sex offenders linked to ACT. Also see 8.
10. No environmental restrictions on farming.