Nearly two-thirds of Hawke’s Bay people surveyed about family violence say they have either experienced it themselves, or know someone close to them who has. 

A major new community survey commissioned by Family VIP Services has revealed just how deeply family violence continues to affect local families – while also highlighting the fear, shame and coercive control still preventing many people from seeking help early. 

Conducted by SIL Research between October 2025 and February 2026, the independent survey found emotional abuse and coercive control were reported even more commonly than physical violence, reinforcing growing concern around the hidden forms of harm happening behind closed doors. 

Shame and stigma were identified as the biggest barriers to getting help, followed by fear of losing children or housing, fear of not being believed, and lack of trust in services. 

Family VIP Services Business Manager Julie Hart ONZM said the findings reflected what frontline workers across Hawke’s Bay were seeing every day. 

“Family violence is often far more complex and hidden than people realise. Coercive control, emotional abuse, intimidation and fear can exist long before physical violence occurs, and many people still don’t recognise those behaviours for what they are.” 

Hart said many people also believed seeking help automatically meant leaving immediately, losing custody of children, or having nowhere safe to go. 

“One of the biggest things we hear is fear of what happens next,” she said. 

“People worry about losing housing, financial stability, or how they will support their children. Often they don’t realise support can start with a conversation, safety planning, advocacy, or simply understanding their options.” 

The survey also highlighted how difficult help-seeking can be, with many respondents describing fear of retaliation, psychological control, financial dependence and concern for children as major reasons people remain in unsafe situations. 

Hart said Family VIP Services works alongside women and whānau in different ways depending on their situation, including practical support, referrals, legal and financial advocacy, and emergency safe house accommodation where needed. 

“Support looks different for every family, and nobody has to navigate it alone.” 

The research also found many people still struggle to recognise non-physical forms of family violence, with coercive control and financial abuse far less likely to be identified than visible physical harm. 

The survey comes at a significant moment for Family VIP Services Business Manager Julie Hart ONZM, who last month travelled to Government House in Wellington to formally receive her Officer of the New Zealand Order of Merit honour, recognising more than three decades spent supporting women, children and whānau affected by family violence across Hawke’s Bay. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing family violence, support is available. 

Family VIP Services provides confidential support, safety planning, advocacy, practical assistance, referrals, and emergency safe house accommodation for women and children in Hastings and Napier. 

Call 0800 REFUGE (733 843) anytime for help or advice. 

In an emergency, call 111.