It’s a deeply personal act of generosity, and one that will support those living with dementia for many years and decades to come.

Napier’s David Etheridge says it was in the early days of his wife and soulmate’s own dementia journey that he was first introduced to Hawke’s Bay Foundation, and the idea of gifting something meaningful to the community foundation began to crystallise. 

“Diana and I had discussed making a bequest before she got dementia,” says David. “That decision was cemented when we spoke to our daughter, who recommended giving one lump sum to something dear to our hearts, and doing it in a trust that would keep the capital in tact and so be useful for many many years.”

As Diana began to lose her independence to the disease, 93-year-old David made the arrangements, and with his wife’s support, built a $500,000 bequest into the couple’s wills. The income from this remarkable gift will go on to support others facing dementia and accessing end-of-life care in Hawke’s Bay.

Once a vibrant and active woman, Diana (91) is now confined to a hospital bed in the care wing of Napier’s Princess Alexandra retirement village, while David lives independently close by in a townhouse. The emotional toll of her decline has been difficult, he admits.

“I’ve seen the suffering of my wife and the mental dilemma that it causes,” David continues. “It is important to us both to have found some way of assisting other dementia sufferers. Our bequest is for them – to support incredible services like Dementia Hawke’s Bay, Mahana, and Hawke’s Bay Hospice,.”

The Etheridges’ generous half-million-dollar donation will sit under Hawke’s Bay Foundation’s newly established Dementia Relief Fund. The fund is structured so that this, and any subsequent donations are invested wisely, with returns used to support dementia services across the region.

Hawke’s Bay Foundation Executive Officer Alesha Hope says she is humbled by the couple’s gift and their desire to help other locals facing the many challenges of dementia.

“Dementia is a cruel disease that affects the entire family,” she says. “It’s a tiny silver lining that we can honour the Etheridges’ generosity now and forever, to support others going through the same journey.”

David says he hadn’t known a lot about community foundations until he attended a talk, and was impressed by the long-term potential of the model. 

“I found it a very good vehicle for people who wish to support communities and their interests after they’ve gone. Understandably, some may feel they can’t do it while they’re alive, or simply don’t have the capital. It’s a more achievable goal to utilise your estate.  But you need to make provision for it while you’re alive. You can’t do it when you’re dead.”

The Etheridges’ connection to Hawke’s Bay runs deep. David spent decades running the family toy and bicycle business, Etheridge’s, on Emerson Street – a cherished Napier institution. In 1982, the family moved to Taupō, where they managed a large resort and embraced a new chapter filled with travel and community involvement.

Diana, a trained Karitane nurse and accomplished floral artist, was also truly community minded. Her volunteer work spanned four decades, including 40 years with the Red Cross and countless hours arranging flowers at churches. She once hosted then-Prime Minister Helen Clark as president of the Tauhara Luncheon Club and also served as export manager at Geotherm Orchids.          

“Diana has enormous talent and has supported me not only as a wife but in business and life,” David reflects. “Despite what’s happening to her, she embodies what it means to be gracious,  and continues to live for her kids and her family.”

The couple have five children, 13 grandchildren, and nine great-grandchildren – their lives are full, despite Diana’s worsening condition.

“Every day, so many organisations need support,” David says. “You can’t help them all, so you choose what’s closest to your heart. For us, that’s dementia. Our family has been so affected – we want to give back.”

David also believes in leaving a legacy, not just wealth. “My family are supportive of our decision, andI don’t think one owes it to your children to leave them millionaires,” he says. “You help them as much as you can in your lifetime, and what’s left at the end is a bonus.”

He encourages anyone with an interest to investigate donating to a community foundation. “If, like us, you have an ounce of philanthropy in you, then Hawke’s Bay Foundation is a wonderful vehicle to put it into practice.

“As I watch Diana go through this journey, I am so very pleased we made this decision.”

To donate to the Dementia Relief Fund, visit https://hawkesbayfoundation.org.nz/