[As published in July/August BayBuzz magazine]

BayBuzz regular columnist and Havelock North trainer Janine Couchman competed at the World Natural Bodybuilding Federation Australia (Natural Elite) competition in Brisbane in May this year, and regularly travels for events. Here, she shares her insights and lessons for those of us involved in less intense training at home in the Bay.

Five lessons learned through bodybuilding that have nothing to do with muscle. 

It’s fair to say that I’m drawn to big, scary goals that push me outside my comfort zone. In the past I have been deeply involved in the ultra-running world – a space that demands serious grit and mental focus. Alongside this, my work as a personal trainer and coach has grown my passion for helping women discover their strength, both physically and mentally. 

So when I turned to competitive bodybuilding, it was about choosing a challenge that scared me. I was curious about the discipline, the extremes, the mental resilience required. And I did it for the same reason I encourage my clients to try new things, even when it feels daunting or self-belief is low: because showing up for yourself is where change begins. 

Whether or not you’ve ever stepped foot in a gym, these lessons are for anyone who’s trying to stretch themselves, stick to something tough, or simply grow. 

1. Big, scary goals are doable – if you break them down 

The idea of standing on stage under bright lights, being judged on your physique, might sound intense. It was. I found the prospect absolutely terrifying. But it became less overwhelming when I stopped focusing on this outcome and instead put my energy into the next step: the next meal, the next training session, the next early night. 

You don’t need to conquer the whole mountain in one leap. You just need to take the next right step. And then the next. Trying to pay off debt? Focus on the next payment. Building a new habit? Focus on today, not the whole year. When the bigger picture feels daunting, zoom in. You don’t have to be fearless. You just have to take a small step that moves you in the right direction. If you aren’t yet doing what you want to be doing – make that first step smaller. The finish line feels impossibly far – until it doesn’t. 

2. Putting yourself first doesn’t mean putting others last 

One of the hardest shifts I had to make during prep was becoming less accommodating to others. Friends visiting our beautiful region did not find me so fun, considering all the incredible wineries and restaurants on offer here! During prep, I had to say no to social events, stick to routines my kids didn’t always love, and sometimes rest instead of working or socialising. 

All this focus on myself felt a bit selfish. But putting myself first wasn’t about ignoring other people’s needs – it was about treating my own needs as valid. I wasn’t putting my needs above those of others, I was positioning myself as an equal. And luckily Hawke’s Bay is also a mecca for walks and picnics. 

In a world that often applauds women for being selfless, I have learnt the value of boundaries. Whether you’re pursuing a degree, healing from burnout, or carving out time to move your body, you are allowed to protect that space. 

You don’t have to be at the bottom of your own priority list to be a good person. In fact, you’ll be better for everyone around you when you’re better to yourself. 

3. It’s a privilege to choose your challenge 

Most of life’s hardest moments don’t come by choice. Grief, illness, unexpected loss – those things find us. So when we’re in a season where we can take on a challenge of our own making – when we have the freedom, health, and resources to choose our challenges – this is a gift. It builds resilience in a controlled environment. It helps us practice doing hard things. And when life throws the real curveballs, we have more tools in our kit. We’ve been tested – on our terms – and we’re stronger for it. Strength is a skill. And like any skill, it gets better with practice. 

4. Struggle makes success mean more 

There’s a particular kind of joy that only comes after effort. When you’ve struggled – really struggled – and still finished what you started, that success hits differently. It’s the deep, soul-level satisfaction that comes after a period of discomfort. 

The contrast between the struggle and the achievement creates depth. It imprints on you. And that emotional weight gives the outcome more value. Whether it’s rebuilding after a breakup, finishing a degree, or healing from something difficult, the hard work you put in makes the result that much sweeter. 

5. Confidence comes from keeping promises to yourself 

Confidence isn’t something you’re born with or something you get from applause. It’s something you build through action. Specifically, by doing what you said you would do, even if you’ve only said it to yourself (maybe also to a coach you don’t want to flake on). 

The most powerful lesson I learned wasn’t about lifting effectively or hacking my metabolism – it was about trust. Not trust in others, but in myself. Every time you show up and follow through on your plan, you build self-trust. That trust becomes confidence. This confidence doesn’t look loud or flashy. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being honest and consistent. 

If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt, start small. Pick one promise. Keep it. Then do it again. Following through, especially when it’s hard, is proof that you can rely on yourself. And that quiet, earned self-respect? That’s where real confidence grows. 

In the end, it was never about the stage 

Bodybuilding may have been the setting, but it was never really the story. The real growth happened in quiet moments: choosing discipline over comfort, self-respect over approval, and long-term gains over instant gratification. 

You don’t need a competition to learn these things. You just need something that challenges you – a goal that makes you uncomfortable, that forces you to confront yourself. That’s where growth lives. Become someone who finishes what they start. Someone who trusts themselves. Someone who can do hard things. 

And here’s the good news: you’re already strong enough to begin. The moment you decide to trust yourself, to show up for yourself, is the moment everything changes. 

Choose your challenge – and start. 

Janine Couchman is a personal trainer and fitness coach specialising in strength training women of all ages and stages. As well as private coaching, she delivers an eight-week group programme at Peak Fitness and Health. She can be found at janinecouchman.com and @JaninecouchmanPT