Following a split vote yesterday afternoon, Hastings District Council have approved an application from Hill Country Corporation to include a KFC outlet in their Ocean Beach coastal village.

Hastings mayor, (and self-confessed KFC addict) Lawrence Yule, said he’s satisfied the vote went the right way. “It may seem a little incongruous to some, but the presence of this KFC will prevent ad hoc fast food development blighting the rest of the coastline,” Mr Yule said.

Yet at least one local, Bruno Chambers, is crying fowl. The Havelock North farmer said consent to turn the coast crispy is simply another local body anomaly, and an attempt by Hill Country Corporation to drum up support. “How can council say the district plan is transparent, when I know for a fact there are at least 11 secret herbs and spices in this application?” Mr Chambers asked.

Hill Country Corporation’s Phil Hocquard, said KFC symbolises the core values of the proposed development.
“For Obeacians [provisional term for the settlement’s imminent inhabitants], KFC’s inception will symbolise the gentrification of Ocean Beach,” Mr Hocquard said. “Our company’s big on minimising our collective carbon footprint, so it would be hypercritical of us not to cater to residents who would otherwise drive to Hastings for a Zinger burger.
“KFC is the true blue-collar takeaway, and, as our village proposal is about affordable living for average New Zealanders – it’s the perfect complement.”

Hocquard said the company’s neighbouring predator proof-fence and bird sanctuary also played a big part in their decision to adopt the franchise. “It’s [the bird sanctuary] been such a success we can now cull a sustainable surplus of native and endemic birds. We’re hoping to be the first KFC franchise to introduce kaka hot wings, and with nesting on the increase, it looks likely we’ll also be the first self-sustaining KFC outlet in the world.”

Hocquard told BayBuzz that depending on varying weather and migratory patterns, the crew are looking at introducing Little Blue Penguin fillets, and a range of other lowe-fat options.

Mark

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