[As published in May/June 2026 BayBuzz magazine.]

There’s a moment many women hit in their 40s where they think, “Have I lost the plot, or is something actually happening here?”

Spoiler: it’s not you. It’s your hormones.

Perimenopause – the transitional years leading up to menopause – is less of a gentle glide and more of a hormonal group chat where everyone’s talking at once and no one’s making sense. Oestrogen rises, falls, spikes again. Progesterone quietly exits stage left. Testosterone declines (yes, you need that too). And suddenly your body, mood, sleep, and tolerance for nonsense all feel… different.

And yet, despite affecting half the population, most women are wildly under-informed. We’re told to expect hot flushes at some vague point in the future, but no one warns you about lying awake at 3am replaying a mildly awkward conversation from 2007. Or feeling irrationally furious at the sound of someone chewing.

Let’s fix that.

What’s actually happening?

Perimenopause can start in your late 30s or early 40s and last anywhere from a few years to over a decade. During this time, your ovaries become less predictable in their hormone production.

Oestrogen, often framed as the “female hormone,” doesn’t just control your cycle – it influences your brain, bones, muscles, metabolism, and cardiovascular system. When it fluctuates, so do all of those systems.

Progesterone, which has a calming, stabilising effect, tends to decline earlier. Which explains why you might feel more anxious, wired, or reactive.

The result? A cocktail of symptoms that can include: poor sleep, mood swings or anxiety, brain fog, increased body fat, reduced muscle mass, lower energy, a sudden intolerance for things you used to put up with.

Charming.

The plot twist no one tells you

Here’s where it gets interesting.

While it might feel like your body is working against you, this phase is actually a recalibration, not a breakdown.

Your physiology is shifting away from reproduction as a priority. Which means your body becomes less forgiving of under-fuelling, chronic stress, and endless cardio – the exact strategies many women have relied on for decades.

In other words, the old playbook stops working.

Why your go-to strategies stop cutting it

If you’ve ever thought, “I’m doing more than ever and getting fewer results,” you’re not imagining it.

Long cardio sessions, restrictive eating, and pushing through exhaustion tend to backfire in perimenopause. Elevated stress hormones (hello, cortisol) combined with fluctuating oestrogen can increase fat storage, break down muscle, and leave you feeling flat and frustrated.

This isn’t a motivation problem. It’s a mismatch between what your body needs now and what you’ve been told works.

So what does work?

Before you panic and buy that supplement stack in the pink packaging, there’s good news: there are strategies that genuinely support your body through this transition. And done right they’re more than effective – they’re (almost?) enjoyable.

Strength training sits firmly at the top of that list.

Lifting weights helps counteract the natural decline in muscle mass and bone density that comes with hormonal shifts. It improves insulin sensitivity, supports metabolism, and has a powerful effect on mood and confidence.

It’s not just about aesthetics (though that’s a nice bonus). It’s about future-proofing your body.

Alongside strength training, a few key strategies can make a significant difference:

• Prioritising protein to support muscle repair and satiety

• Eating enough (yes, enough) to fuel your body properly

• Managing stress with the same seriousness you apply to exercise

• Focusing on sleep quality – even if it requires new routines or boundaries

• Adjusting training intensity rather than just pushing harder

Muscle matters (more than you think)

Muscle is often overlooked in women’s health conversations, which is wild considering how central it is to how we age. It supports your metabolism, protects your bones, improves balance, and allows you to stay independent and capable well into later life. In perimenopause, when muscle loss can accelerate, strength training becomes less of an optional extra and more of a non-negotiable. 

It also does something harder to quantify but equally important: it changes how you see yourself. There’s something deeply grounding about feeling strong in your body at a time when everything else might feel uncertain. 

The emotional shift (and why it’s not all bad) 

Beyond the physical changes, many women notice a psychological shift during this phase. 

You might find your tolerance for people-pleasing dramatically decreases. Your priorities sharpen. Your capacity to care about things that don’t matter… evaporates. 

This isn’t you becoming difficult. It’s you becoming discerning. With less hormonal drive to prioritise everyone else, there’s space to ask better questions: 

• What do I actually want? 

• What matters now? 

• What am I no longer available for? 

It’s not always comfortable – but it is powerful. 

A better way to frame it 

Perimenopause has been sold to women as a slow decline into irrelevance. That narrative is outdated and, frankly, lazy. Yes, it comes with challenges. But it also brings clarity, confidence, and a chance to rebuild your health on more solid, sustainable foundations. 

You’re not losing yourself. You’re being asked to evolve. Perimenopause isn’t your body falling apart – it’s your body asking for a better strategy. 

The bottom line 

If your body feels different, it’s because it is. But different doesn’t mean broken. With the right approach – particularly strength training, proper fuelling, and a shift away from punishing fitness habits – this stage can be one of the strongest, most self-assured chapters of your life. 

Less people-pleasing. More clarity. More strength– in every sense of the word. 

Sounds like a pretty good trade. 

Janine Couchman is a personal trainer and fitness coach specialising in strength training women of all ages and stages. She is founder of The Resistance in Havelock North – a gym designed specifically for women and shaped around real bodies, real lives, real challenges and real aspirations. She can be found at theresistance.co.nz