Just Tap It

It has been a long wait, but Albert is here. Long awaited. Longed for and here. 

Albert lives with his mother and father in Auckland. A grandmother hovers. Ah, the joy such a small bundle can bring. Albert is just begun. He has already clocked up an impressive three months. 

Albert is my grandnephew, but he can call me Grandy, more a moko than a nephew. His mother more a daughter than a niece.

Three weeks ago, at the time of writing, Auckland moved into level two. Gloved, masked, sanitised and sanitised some more I finally met our beloved baby. A miracle of love, life and family. 

Finally, I was able to hold this blessed bundle, smell his newness and allow a few tears to flow. Seemingly before I had arrived it was time to go.

The getting into Auckland was easy, it was the getting out that challenged. 

My sister lives in a glamourous high-rise apartment with breath-taking views of the city and beyond. Bunking there for the night was not a hardship and now it was time to head back to the realities of life on a farm.

A last hug and the lift whispered me down to the tranquil granite-lined, tropical plant-filled foyer. Huge wall to ceiling, gleaming glass doors beckoned me forward.

A discreet button pointed ‘tap to exit’. I elbow tapped. Nothing. I tapped again. Slight mechanical noise. I tapped again and again and by the tenth tap I threw the elbow out and finger stabbed. I suppose I was a good twenty stabs in when I decided that this swishy, swanky piece of Auckland architecture was just a pile of rubbish and I would have go back up to my sister’s floor and get some help. 

I wanted to go up but the elevator was not of a mind to grant me that wish. Down certainly, but up? Certainly not. I retreated into the menacing, granite foyer with the threatening flora. I looked around. Nobody anywhere. 

By now it was creeping towards 9am, the time I was meeting my friend Brenda Liddiard. I had bought a painting from her. She would be waiting.

“I’ll phone her,” I said. “No I won’t,” I replied, as I pictured my phone locked inside the car.

Looking around I noticed ground floor flats. I knocked on every single one of those feckers and no one was home. I tried another ‘tap to exit’. Liar. Then, as if in slow motion, a woman walked out of the lift. She was surprised to see a flustered old woman shuffling rapidly towards her. 

“I can’t get out! Can you let me out?” implored the old one.

“Oh yes,” she smiled divinely, “it can be a little stiff. You just tap this button.”

“Just tap it!” I said, keeping the maniacal look to a minimum. “Just tap it!? Yes, I did try that.” 

“Oh?” she puzzled as she tapped the button and … pushed the door…

Well I didn’t see that coming. Tap and push. No I didn’t see that one coming at all.

I thanked her and leapt into my car. Turned on the GPS but forgot the sound. Sound is helpful in a city raging with cars, red cones and workmen. No sound means wrong lanes and wrong lanes means upsetting Serena. Serena is the woman who lives in my phone.

One U-turn and a few special words later and I was back on track heading down Mercury Lane. I had been promised a parking building and there it was smiling its welcome. I smiled back and drove into its dark embrace. A little too dark perhaps. Hmmmm. A young man chatted by explaining that this was a residents-only building.

I smiled my thanks and headed back from whence I had come. One small problem. The whence I had come was now blocked by huge metal gates. Another wait, another rescue.

Just around the corner a Wilson’s car park beamed and asked its ransom. I paid. Collected my painting with a second one to keep it company and headed home. One wee stop at my ‘Why Knot’ shop and I was gone.

Can’t wait to see you again wee Albert. Can’t wait for your chuckles. 

And if I could, I would bottle all that security and love from your mummy and your daddy and your mormor and give it to anyone and everyone who could do with an extra hug. 

Share



Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *