A group calling themselves Alcoholics Ubiquitous (AU) today marched through Havelock North’s business district calling for a more alcoholic friendly village.

In a spirited show of solidarity not seen since the town’s controversial liquor-ban signs were introduced three years ago, the chant “I Drink, Therefore I Am” resonated across the streets of the idyllic yet wincingly overpriced village.

Group spokesman Barney Flannagan said the march was an effort to redress recent criticism from “sober bigots”, and to protest against the town’s pitiful alcoholic amenities.

“Not only are sleeping conditions substandard, but we’re now taunted by ageing vigilantes who’ve seen too many Clint Eastwood films,” said Barney, in reference to the voluntary community patrols operating at nights in the area.

“If Hastings District Council lock the public toilets at 6pm every night, just where do they expect us to urinate?”

The splinter group (now an incorporated society) formed three years ago after citing irreconcilable differences with former affiliate Alcoholics Anonymous.

BayBuzz contacted Alcoholics Anonymous, yet were told they were in a meeting and couldn’t comment.

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