Incensed at all the publicity Moko the Mahia dolphin is getting lately, Squirt the SplashPlanet watersaurus has challenged his (her?) bottlenose rival to an aquarian smackdown.

“There’s just not enough room in Hawke’s Bay for two watery heroes, and clearly I have seniority,” sniffed Squirt. “People are driving hours to see that upstart show-off for free, after all I’ve contributed to the local community.”

Sources tell BayBuzz that Squirt became enraged when shown polling results by Napier Councillor (and champion of dolphin imprisonment) Harry Lawson that indicated Moko enjoyed 1000% more name recognition than Squirt. “It’ll be Moko-Broko when I get through with that media hog,” boasted Squirt.

So far, Moko has not accepted the Squirt challenge.

“The water down at that end of the Bay sucks,” said Moko. “As long as Hastings and Napier keep pumping their excrement into the Bay, I’m not accepting any gigs in those unsavory waters. And then there’s the Marineland threat. I could spend the rest of my life jumping through hoops.”

“Where does Moko get that crap?” retorted Squirt. “The next thing you know, he (she) will be arguing that global warming is for real.”

BayBuzz has heard that Moko’s got the facts right with respect to Hastings and Napier pumping their sewage into the Bay … a contribution to the Bay’s environment (and “clean green” reputation) that won’t be improved by each Council’s plans for “Biological Trickling Filter Systems.” These systems are touted by Councils as state-of-the-art, but are far from it, even when properly installed.

But more poop at another time on the Councils’ inadequate “solution” to their wastewater treatment needs. Today, we’re just eager to see the outcome of the Squirt Challenge.


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