[As published in December/January BayBuzz magazine.]
Mary Oliver’s question, “What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” echoes the quest to become the best version of oneself. In a material world filled with shifting standards of excellence, how do we navigate this journey? How do we unearth the best within us while embracing life’s unlimited possibilities with faith and ease?
Anchoring ourselves firmly in what truly matters, fostering growth, affirming resilience, and daring to dream of a better world define this noble path. While your journey toward self actualisation is ultimately a choice that is as unique and miraculous as your own thumbprint, perhaps this roadmap of mindfulness concepts might guide you in further exploring your best self.
Define your North Star
Where attention goes energy flows. Do you know your purpose? Feel into the guiding stars that illuminate your path. Take time to define your values, passions, and ambitions. Clear intentions set a compass point. Feeling into your hopes and dreams that are in alignment with your higher purpose becomes like a strong wing in sturdy sails steering you forward. The ancients said that with thought, feelings and emotions we can move mountains. What mountains do you wish to move?
Embrace continuous growth
Embrace a growth mindset that celebrates change and new experiences. Every moment, whatever it contains, contains opportunities for growth. Use tools of mindfulness to cultivate real time curiosity. Embrace adaptability. Use reframing tools to switch fear of change for an excitement of what else is possible. View challenges as stepping stones to personal evolution.
Nurture self-compassion
Central to mindfulness is being present on purpose with an air of kindness, compassion, acceptance and non-judgement. Have an intention to embrace self-compassion. Practice self kindness. Acknowledge that perfection is an illusion. Celebrate your progress. Look at your setbacks with kind eyes, and offer yourself the same understanding you would extend to a dear friend.
Cultivate healthy habits
Prioritising self care forms the cornerstone for personal excellence. We all know what to do, but doing this can be another story. The mindfulness acronym contained in the question “Are you taking your M.E.D.S.?” can be a helpful daily reminder.
M = Manage your mind. Practice mindfulness. Engage in activities that bring you genuine joy. Learn something new every day.
E = Exercise. Move your body. Yoga, dance, garden, walk, run, play. Build physical resilience so it spills out into all the corners of your life.
D = Diet. Avoid processed food and refined sugar. Eat more fruit and vegetables.
S = Sleep & Sunshine. The number one stress reliever is a good night’s sleep that you arise from feeling rested.
Forge authentic connections
It’s said that you become like those you spend the most time with. Choose wisely. Nurture relationships that uplift and inspire you. Surround yourself with those who want the best for you, who see your potential and believe in the beauty of your dreams.
Have your own back
With mindful eyes watch your own self talk. Notice what you are telling yourself. If your inner critic is loud or you are judging yourself harshly, consistently use meditation practices like a ‘Self Compassion Meditation’ or ‘Loving Kindness Meditation’ to reprogram this default mode network within the mind. Love yourself enough to do these practices. Whatever you practice grows stronger.
Embrace failure as stepping stone
Just as perfection is an illusion, failure is a point of view. Notice your benchmark of failure and redefine it as a stepping stone toward success. Embrace it as a catalyst for growth and learning. Turning towards triggers and setbacks with an outlook to extract valuable lessons can empower you to fortify your resolve to push forward with renewed energy.
Practice gratitude
Gratitude is the cornerstone of contentment and resilience. Take moments each day to acknowledge and appreciate the blessings in your life. Gratitude nurtures a positive mindset, amplifying joy, and fostering a deeper appreciation for the journey you’re on. The 13th century Persian Poet Rumi said, “Wear gratitude like a cloak and allow it to fill every corner of your life.”
Step away from comparison
It is said that comparison is the thief of joy. Your journey is unique. Embrace it. Notice when you are measuring your progress against others. Shift your attention to focus on your personal growth, celebrating the milestones that resonate with your aspirations and values. Take your wins, small and large, and weave them into the unique beautiful fabric that is you.
Make noticing what went well a habit
At the end of each day consider what went well and what part you played in this. Noting down three things at the end of each day that went well will help reprogramme what is called the negativity bias of the mind. Wiping the slate clean to switch off the mind that likes to ruminate. This mindfulness exercise is called the 4W’s. The first 3 W’s are what went well and the fourth is the why. What part did you play in making things go well? Try writing this in a journal for 21 evenings and see what happens.
Courageously pursue dreams
Finally, summon the courage to pursue your dreams. Step out of your comfort zone. Find a new sense of comfort within discomfort. Release what you can’t control. Trust in you. Let your aspirations be the beacon guiding you towards the realisation of your fullest potential. Release attachment to the outcome yet feel into the myriad landscape of what else is possible.
The path to personal excellence is a mosaic. Your own unique collection of experiences, choices, and growth. The book of wisdom that is you. Exploring what else is possible. As you navigate this journey, remember that the pursuit of your best self is not a destination, but a transformative expedition that can ultimately leave the world a better place.
Rumi said, “There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the ground; there are a thousand ways to go home again.” Consistently practicing your own personally curated tools for calm weaves a parachute that will serve you steadfastly when you find yourself in freefall moments. That gives you dexterous wings when the tides turn in your favour. Whatever the present moment contains keep courageously embracing the unique brilliance that is you. The world needs you. Choose you.
Kate McLeay is a mindfulness mentor, yoga teacher and retreat host based out at the iconic Hawke’s Bay Cape South Country Estate and Wellness Retreat. She teaches weekly yoga classes at Focus Health in Havelock North and run events and retreats around New Zealand and overseas. www.katemcleay.com
